spinning…

Wheels turn. I dodge the little dogs in my path, riding no hands, but I am feeling free. Two stage balls are in my back pack and four acrylics. The sunshine and seaside wake me up, and the ride gets my blood flowing. I fight my dress as it exposes too much, it doesn’t feel very lady-like. I’m one of those ruff and tumble kids playin’ the part of a lady.

When I arrive, there are a few men standing, speaking about politics within the busking community (There really is politics to everything, isn’t there?). We have a draw, then everyone disperses. I go down the boardwalk to the ocean side. I sit by the water and smoke a little, eat an apple, stretch and practice juggling. I’m ready to go.

I walk up to the Market side and I stand there, nervously fiddling with my set up. Ha. That means just putting my hat down and bringing out one ball. I try to get comfortable on my feet, looking around me and seeing who’s there. If I can get one person to stop, they all will. I put the ball on my head, and wait a minute.

…

Just think about things, I am no statue, I can barely ever sit still. I’m new to this, really, and the first hundred shows don’t count. So I grab the ball, and isolate and play. I begin to focus on the ball and before I know it, others do too. I try to play with the focus that’s comes to the ball, and see if I can make someone react. I see people across the street watching, and I play with them for a while until another walks closer and stands in front. I give them a “hello” and smile, and I focus back to the illusion a moment. Others begin to stop. The more I play and have fun with this focus the more people stop and want to play.

Theres a circle around me now, I barely noticed those behind me, my tricks slowly get bigger, and I know there’s an energy that’s begun to flow, roll and spin. Finding that space is amazing, the only problem now is what do I do with it? I can feel that they like me and will do as I request.

Yet, it’s where I fail. In this moment I cannot comprehend communicating anything that isn’t with the movement of the ball. I am left speechless for once in my life, drawing worms through the air. Theres no final ending, or lead up to a finale. It feels infinite and unending until I hear the sound of one coin begin a barrage of others to join it. My circle disperses with the whispers of “thank you” on my lips.

It’s been a good day, all in all. I learn a lot from that moment of speechlessness and that moment of tension. It’s a good moment, a great moment, and I am lucky to bring it there at all. It’s disappointing to know I missed a magical opportunity this time because fear took over. At least I won’t let that happen again. You can’t plan magic like that yet, even the hint of it is inspiring.

I unlocked my bike and rode home, in the sunshine by the seaside.